Eternalthought’s Weblog

Morton hears a Who. This comes from a dream which Lou Engle had concerning abortion.

Well it has been a while since my first post explaining what my handle name means and where I got it so… i am going to link to it again and shout it out again…

eternal thought

Ps 115:1-11

1 Not to us, O Lord, not to us but to your name be the glory,

because of your love and faithfulness. 

2 Why do the nations say, ”Where is their God?” 

3 Our God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases him.

4 But their idols are silver and gold, made by the hands of men. 

5 They have mouths, but cannot speak, eyes, but they cannot see; 

6 they have ears, but cannot hear, noses, but they cannot smell; 

7 they have hands, but cannot feel, feet, but they cannot walk;

nor can they utter a sound with their throats. 

8 Those who make them will be like them, and so will all who trust in them. 

9 O house of Israel, trust in the Lord — he is their help and shield. 

10 O house of Aaron, trust in the Lord — he is their help and shield. 

11 You who fear him, trust in the Lord — 

NIV

Well happy is the man who has the God of Jacob as his God, and who’s sins are forgiven 70 times 7. (This is the line from the CD from bound4life called Thin Red Line.)

When we put our trust in Christ our sins are no longer remembered. God no longer sees our sins! All he can see is the blood of Christ.

Galations 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Sometimes I wonder why it is so hard when I sin. Why do I have so much shame, or maybe I do not have the much shame really but I feel such a hindrance from fellow shipping with God. That the hindrance is definitely wrong, it is not right.

I wonder if there is a point at which we agree with darkness and we are putting up the hinderance more than usual. Because our flesh naturally resists fellowship with God.

Haha, the more I write about things the more I work out these things in my thoughts. I just realized that when we sin we agree with darkness and strengthen our flesh but when we deny our flesh we strengthen out spirit thus removing more of the veil.

I believe the sin blinds us to our strength in Christ. We have all power because his spirit lives in us! We have the power to go before the throne of God any time we choose whether we feel we are before his throne or not we can go to that place. Remember there is a veil there.

We get to choose between Justice and Mercy. Why do we try to keep reverting back to the law which has been done away with? When we have mercy! Glory to God we have been washed by mercy.

When is the rubber going to hit the road?

I don’t understand why when I go to pray I have all of these weird crazy thoughts about how things work… I mean don’t I know God?

Like one of the things that comes to my head is God I need help or I need this… and I did this for you, so do this for me? I mean when do we move beyond this stuff?

When do we realize that when we stand in Christ God does not see our sin! We are perfect! And as much as He showers his blessings His son he desires to shower His blessing on us! I think the reason why we do not necessarily see it this way is because if he gave us everything that we want we would not be able to handle it. So he gives us only what we can handle in his love!

And in addition why does the revelation and the things we know about God seem so distant when we are faced with issues in life concerning our family, death, sickness ect. As an example what do you tell someone when they say where was God when my mom and dad where shot right in front of me… How do you answer that… Well that is a rhetorical question… but do you understand the level of what I am talking about. I desire to know God and to understand his ways at all times…

Though as I think about this I believe that this is Gods drawing us unto him. It is a recognition of our bankrupt state without Him. If we understood his ways at all times why would we need to pursue him more… I believe we will understand his ways more and more as we study his word and look unto him.

It is all about relationship, and everything he does is to draw us into greater relationship.

Jesus I love your words and your commands Come like a fire and consume my heart. Make me jealous for your name. Reveal yourself to me, reveal your ways for I am completely lost without you. I am at the end of myself. Come!

Phil 3:10-14 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, 11 if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. Pressing toward the Goal 12 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Sharron, a lady in our church was teaching Wednesday night and I ended up having to run sound, so I was not down with the youth. But she was speaking on promises from God starting out in Galatians 3 something. But one of the scriptures that she brought up was Philippians 3:10-14. And this peaked my attention. Because it is starting out in verse 10, and my thought was what do I need to do to receive this… of which “that” is speaking of?

Trying to figure this out I went back a few verses and I went back to verse 7 and started reading from there. Really trying to grasp this, because verses 10-14 are great promises and results of something and what is this.

Phil 3:7-9 But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. 8 Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ  9 and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith;

To me these verses seemed to be confusing somewhat to me at first. Reading through it a few times to me it is the counting all things lost, it is the coming the end of ourselves realizing that according to the law we deserve death and that we are worthy of nothing but death and more. But because of Christ all things are our. This is the “Excellence of the Knowledge of Christ Jesus”.

I really do love that line “Excellence of the Knowledge of Christ Jesus”.

I was at my youth group tonight and we typically before starting the lesson spend like a minute or so quieting ourselves before the Lord, listening and meditating on Him.

How amazing it is to be in a room of youth between like 14 and 20 and everyone is silent with their eyes close (well I am assuming their eyes are closed I did not check) meditating upon the things of God and quieting themselves in his presence. It is truly precious and I do cherish those times.

But now to get to my point. As I was saying tonight I was meditating and just praying to God silently really just thinking it. God you are here… actually now that I think about it I quieted myself after a nice long day at work as well as everything else that day and God spoke that to me. The Holy Spirit whispered I am here always just be silent and you will feel me. And I did feel him. It is so awesome to feel the spirit and to really know that He is there.

And it was brought to my remembrance how when my youth pastor was teaching like 1st and 2nd graders about the silent prayer and after the timer went off (because they where going for something like 5 minutes) He would ask the kids if they could feel the Holy spirit and they would all shake their heads yes and tell him about it. It is sooo precious!

I love silent prayer, it reminds one of all that is truly important, Jesus. It brings things back into focus sooo quickly. awwww

The other night my youth pastor was telling me about either a dream or a vision which he had a couple of years ago, dream or vision I cannot remember which. Though what he saw was he was in his office at our church and he opened his office door and look out into a large meeting room which we have in our church.

What he saw in the room where nearly one hundred chairs set up in a circles from the center of the room out. What it was, was a youth gathering and they where all worshiping with their hands in the air some in the circle had a guitar and someone had a keyboard a long the wall of the room. The musicians where not at all important really, because God’s spirit was resting soo heavily on the room. IT WAS A HOLY THING! (I am going to leave dream/vision at that only saying that he was talking to me about some vision that he has for a young adults group in out church)

This is really an incredible vision/dream which makes my heart beat faster when I hear about it, and does interest me quite a bit, but at the same time I AM TERRIFIED!!!

I am terrified of being in that group…it brings tears to my eyes, and this troubles me so.

I LOVE JESUS AND JESUS LOVES ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I am scared, I am scared of His presence, I do not know why. I do not know what holds me back, and since hearing about this dream of vision, my fear has been realized. I do not know why I have this fear. I know that in worship right now I will only let my self go so far…I only let Jesus show his affection for me so much.

I beleive in the bridal paradigm. (If you do not know what that is I will not explain it now.) And I do love Jesus and I know He loves me, I am not sure if it is a deep sin.

The only thing I can think of is that it is the fear of God. If you agree please pray for me but be wise in your council and “do not awaken love till it so desires” (Song of Songs (somewhere in there)) Meaning that Jesus has me in this place for a reason and do not try and work against his perfect leading. Just pray that the spirit will have his way more and more in my life. For Jesus is such a good leader and the spirit such a warrior mighty to save and keep me!

 ——–

Oh yeah it is my birthday today or well as of right this minute writing this it just became yester day. Or 20 years and 10 minutes ago…lol

Well I need to get to bed because God has blessed us with much work at work…He is sooo good to us! Thanks Be To God!

So you ask me what life is l about, and I will give you this half way theological answer. And the only reason why not a full on theological answer is because I am not studied and things like that, which I would say is absolutely fine I would rather have a grasp of what I am going to write on…)

Here is my answer sort of…The reason why we have been created and we live is to worship God, to love God and to be loved by God for all of eternity.

So how is that for an answer?

Fairly decent I must say, though lately I have been asking myself what do I do with that…how do I walk out my life in its fullness? I am feeling almost board. Like I love God and I “know” He loves me. But at this time I am left needing more, I am left wondering what loving God and being loved by God looks like.
Because in Song of Songs chapter 1 I believe it is the daughters of Jerusalem who say “We will remember you love, more than wine”. Meaning God’s love is better than the things of this age, His love is better than even the good things or none sinful things of life.

My issue is that I am not sure that I believe this in my heart. I am faced with the weakness of my heart where I do not fully find my joy in the presence of God. Or it is not what I feel that I am turning to.

To clarify right now I know that I need to turn to God because I know that I know but my problem is that I know that I know but I do not feel that I feel or remember that His love is better than wine and better than the things of this world.

I know that for sure that I am in the place of drawing, where God is drawing me.

For God is soo good to draw us.
I think that I am just venting and going through a time where I am unsure of my standing. Which I think is awesome. Because I do not want to stand on my own, but I want to stand on the Rock, I want to stand if Grace. I pray that there is never a day that I think that I can stand on my own.

And I know that Jesus is always faithful to us to draw us for He is a good leader. His mercy is so great that he judges us…

 Plug for the treo680 lol ;-P