I know what I am made for…But wait what am I made for?

So you ask me what life is l about, and I will give you this half way theological answer. And the only reason why not a full on theological answer is because I am not studied and things like that, which I would say is absolutely fine I would rather have a grasp of what I am going to write on…)

Here is my answer sort of…The reason why we have been created and we live is to worship God, to love God and to be loved by God for all of eternity.

So how is that for an answer?

Fairly decent I must say, though lately I have been asking myself what do I do with that…how do I walk out my life in its fullness? I am feeling almost board. Like I love God and I “know” He loves me. But at this time I am left needing more, I am left wondering what loving God and being loved by God looks like.
Because in Song of Songs chapter 1 I believe it is the daughters of Jerusalem who say “We will remember you love, more than wine”. Meaning God’s love is better than the things of this age, His love is better than even the good things or none sinful things of life.

My issue is that I am not sure that I believe this in my heart. I am faced with the weakness of my heart where I do not fully find my joy in the presence of God. Or it is not what I feel that I am turning to.

To clarify right now I know that I need to turn to God because I know that I know but my problem is that I know that I know but I do not feel that I feel or remember that His love is better than wine and better than the things of this world.

I know that for sure that I am in the place of drawing, where God is drawing me.

For God is soo good to draw us.
I think that I am just venting and going through a time where I am unsure of my standing. Which I think is awesome. Because I do not want to stand on my own, but I want to stand on the Rock, I want to stand if Grace. I pray that there is never a day that I think that I can stand on my own.

And I know that Jesus is always faithful to us to draw us for He is a good leader. His mercy is so great that he judges us…

 Plug for the treo680 lol ;-P

When does my rightousness shine?

I was just thinking tonight about ready to go to bed. I was thanking Jesus for blessing me so much with his revelation, with finances, friends, health and soooo much more, and I really through varrious ways know that it is all from Him.
But I was just realizing how I am in such a time of blessing, and think of all the people in the Bible like David who cried out to God in distress, and they leaned upon their God and creator.
But I was just think almost to even more of an extent isn’t it more amazing to thank God and not to forget him in prosperity, and my mind first went to Job who God had incredibly blessed yet he lived righteously, and then the devil came to test him, be through this testing I believe we see that Job loved God just the same before the testing…
I also see much of the same thing in David as well.

Well to end this I want to thank Jesus for loving me FIRST and for being there for me all since and through eternity, for I am eternally on his mind, and for blessing me so richly…

ps I wrot this on my Treo680 so I hope it scales well and everything.

Let’s get together and fellowship…

What is fellowship? I took this definition and stuff from sermon notes from Stuart Greaves.

“And they continued steadfastly in the apostles doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers.”  (Acts 2:42)1.  Apostles doctrine – study of the word, small group bible study

2.  Fellowship – strengthening the saints, encouraging, exhorting, comforting in truth flowing in the gifts of the Holy Spirit

3.  Breaking of bread – remembering his broken body and shed blood for the new covenant

This to me was convicting, of not necessarily my definition of fellowship but more the way I spend time with friends. Generally when I get together with friends we do thing, but rarely do we ever fellowship, and so I have found that I often feel lonely. And I will tell you now that hanging out with friends more or having more friends or getting married or anything of the such will not help the loneliness. The reason why I feel lonely is because I am not communing with the one I was made to commune with.

And I believe that even if I did spend more time in prayer and the word I would still feel somewhat lonely because Adam did, but time in true fellowship with friends, would be edifying, and I would not be suffering from loneliness.

But I feel that I must say that how is your heart with God?

Because you HAVE to have a yes in your heart to God. Because often times we may feel Gods love and we back away, and we say no, because it costs something. You may love God but you do not hate wickedness. It may appear to others as well as yourself that you are doing everything right but there is not a full yes in your heart, and you feel lonely or you feel somewhat empty and it is because you do not HATE wickedness and you have not living a full yes in your heart.

I believe that wehn we live with a full yes in our hearts and we have true fellowship with others around us, we will begin to experience a true fullness and joy in life.

Where did “Eternal Thought” come from?

Today I was reading some notes that I had written from studying Song of Solomon or (Song of Songs) with my church using Mike Bickle’s notes from the International House of Prayer.

We where studying Song of Songs 5:10-16 (Which is speaking of Jesus)

10 My beloved is white and ruddy, Chief among ten thousand.

11 His head is like the finest gold; His locks are wavy, And black as a raven.

12 His eyes are like doves By the rivers of waters, Washed with milk, And fitly set.

13 His cheeks are like a bed of spices, Banks of scented herbs. His lips are lilies, Dripping liquid myrrh.

14 His hands are rods of gold Set with beryl. His body is carved ivory Inlaid with sapphires.

15 His legs are pillars of marble Set on bases of fine gold. His countenance is like Lebanon, Excellent as the cedars.

16 His mouth is most sweet, Yes, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, And this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem!

But I was asked to study and talk about 5:13b “His lips are lilies, Dripping liquid myrrh.”

But what I got from this was

Your lips/Your words are like lilies/tender. Your Words are tender towards me.

You are like dripping myrrh, which is speaks of tough love or love no mater what.

Your words are tender towards me they are always tender towards me, no matter what I do…

Also I believe that myrrh also speaks of a sustenance…ITS DRIPPING, flowing ever so slowly but it is there flowing out unto me.

The reason why his love is so deep for is, is because he has had eternity to dwell on every moment with us. His emotions are eternity deep. Everything that Jesus feels is the truth because he is the truth…

So this is where I got it from, today I was just to day suddenly struck with the revelation that God has known me for eternity and his thoughts have dwelled upon my person. Thus, I AM AN ETERNAL THOUGHT.