I am terrified!

The other night my youth pastor was telling me about either a dream or a vision which he had a couple of years ago, dream or vision I cannot remember which. Though what he saw was he was in his office at our church and he opened his office door and look out into a large meeting room which we have in our church.

What he saw in the room where nearly one hundred chairs set up in a circles from the center of the room out. What it was, was a youth gathering and they where all worshiping with their hands in the air some in the circle had a guitar and someone had a keyboard a long the wall of the room. The musicians where not at all important really, because God’s spirit was resting soo heavily on the room. IT WAS A HOLY THING! (I am going to leave dream/vision at that only saying that he was talking to me about some vision that he has for a young adults group in out church)

This is really an incredible vision/dream which makes my heart beat faster when I hear about it, and does interest me quite a bit, but at the same time I AM TERRIFIED!!!

I am terrified of being in that group…it brings tears to my eyes, and this troubles me so.

I LOVE JESUS AND JESUS LOVES ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I am scared, I am scared of His presence, I do not know why. I do not know what holds me back, and since hearing about this dream of vision, my fear has been realized. I do not know why I have this fear. I know that in worship right now I will only let my self go so far…I only let Jesus show his affection for me so much.

I beleive in the bridal paradigm. (If you do not know what that is I will not explain it now.) And I do love Jesus and I know He loves me, I am not sure if it is a deep sin.

The only thing I can think of is that it is the fear of God. If you agree please pray for me but be wise in your council and “do not awaken love till it so desires” (Song of Songs (somewhere in there)) Meaning that Jesus has me in this place for a reason and do not try and work against his perfect leading. Just pray that the spirit will have his way more and more in my life. For Jesus is such a good leader and the spirit such a warrior mighty to save and keep me!

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Oh yeah it is my birthday today or well as of right this minute writing this it just became yester day. Or 20 years and 10 minutes ago…lol

Well I need to get to bed because God has blessed us with much work at work…He is sooo good to us! Thanks Be To God!